All I am ever looking for is one safe space. A moment when I know, ‘it’s all ok and everything is really fine and I am comfortable’. And then, when that moment arrives, I look for that over and over and over again. Oh yea, and over and over again.
The facinating thing is, I am rarely in harms way.
How is it I spend so much time looking for that one safe space? In fact, the truth is - we all do; it’s a human condition. Most of you reading this did not live in the Sudan or in Palestine or the Gaza Strip. Most reading this are not living in the streets of Delhi or were in New Orleans a few years ago.
What is this condition then? We rarely can differentiate between real or authentic fear, i.e. an actual threat of life like a gun in the back, and, inauthentic fear, that what is perceived to be a threat, but hasn't happened yet or doesn't actually threaten one's life, i.e. – loss of employment, child underperforming at school.
It's an insatitiable quest we seek – looking for that one safe space. So what are we to do with our:
- Concerns about employment?
- Worry about our company’s growth?
- Alarm about a family member's new illness?
- Fear of standing up and giving that presentation?
- Uncertainly about our impending divorce?
- Implosion of an industry and how to re-invent ourselves?
- Wondering where the money will come from to provide for our children’s college education, let alone, their dance or hockey passion?
- Worry about what the neighbors are really up to?
- Angst about the flight to Spokane arriving on time?
- Anger at the hurry that drivers are in and wondering when did YEILD morph into MERGE?
What to do?
Here is the grand tip of the day: Nothing. Just be with it. Be powerful, courageous and generous with yourself - and with others. Most of the worst cases scenarios we think will happen never materialize. And, sometimes they do. The biggest threat is usually made up by our innate sense of fear.
So, today, I will continue looking for my one safe space – while I go out into the world to play. After all, as my dear friend Lee says, nothing happens at home.
Drive Your Bargain,
Anne
www.twitter.com/annefleming
